I was at the slave today when I overheard the following....
She got a baby by my brotha and she like the family, she comin' to the weddin' and his fiance just can't handle that. I don't know what her problem is but she gotta get over it. His son is part of the family and his baby mama is too.....
And it was a born again Christian who said it......
My mind drifted. 70 percent of African American children are born out of wedlock. Most of the absent fathers have weak connections to the work force. Stronger connections to the work force might make them stay....
I wonder if it ain't time we accepted Black Love. Men strong enough to be a man. Women strong enough to share a man.
Are we not doing it already? Young Cats playin' Baby Boy--hittin' the gurl and the baby Mama and what ever else. And the Baby Mama goin' for it. She shouldn't go for it you say. I tell you what are the odds she'll find someone who'll take care of her and her baby in the projects? A true man shortage. An overwhelming supply of baby Mamas and they babies. You do the math. You gonna tell mama try to hit the lottery the rest of her life?
Hate me if you will, shiiiii, every one else does.
Or are we gonna raise our level of intensity as a people and create the family value--the cultural expression which reflects our ancestral ways and nurture extended family. Are we gonna move on Black Love?
That statement by the born again Christian was Black Love. The Christian knows her brother's hittin' Baby Mama, the Baby Mama know she gettin' hit, the family know he hittin' the Baby Mama. And you know the fiancee knows he hittin' the Baby Mama. And you know he hittin' the Baby Mama.
Maybe if he just stopped usin' the word Nigga....
Doesn't the child deserve a father. Doesn't the fiance deserve a man, doesn't the Baby Mama deserve a man and father of her chile?
I know gurl, get out the triangle and go play the lottery--wait to exhale, there's a male out there who ain't...
Ain't in jail.
Ain't gay.
Ain't bisexual.
Ain't got Aids.
Ain't a step and fetchit.
Ain't unemployed.
Ain't angry.
Ain't smokin' weed.
Ain't on the corner.
Ain't got bad breath
Ain't got gas....
Ain't fat...
Ain't got a woman?
All this with out spiritual training in the traditional way, fighting with Christianity, most likely--at best--in the belly of this beast, in the projects, the capitalism spawned BET exploitive waste land?
There's a lotta brothers out there...yeah.
Time for Black Love. Go wit' what you got ta get where you gotta go.
A strong family growing together....
Thursday, September 13, 2007
Sunday, August 5, 2007
Black Love
I was sitting there at home chillin' watchin' that Polygamy show Big Love on t.v. I couldn't make up my mind whether or not to blog about this...... but since its on t.v.
Let's say this up front. Polygamy is illegal. I'm not advocating it. I'm not advocating any of the madness involved in all of that madness happening in Utah. What I am advocating is that we love each other. Love our selves. A more expanded discussion of this appears in my book Knowing The Manifestations of Ra, but today this is just a little discussion spurred by watching t.v.
Now what I've got to say is that black folks we got sumptin goin' on. And white folks please step away. This is a between us moment.
Black folks, we been had it goin'. And I won't go into the traditional family values of the African because I don't want to loose so many of us who have been brain washed and still living in slavery(Our slavish mentality tells us that any thing African is evil. Or more correctly any thing African that we don't understand is evil because we will take and absorb every thing that serves our selfish ends in a heart beat like every immature people). But I will say that we, that would be black folk, have serious issues around our families; so much so that even when something makes a lot of sense we want to turn our back on it because it won't serve our very own very incredible self avowed oath of self destructive dysfunction(yes that was redundant but only in the same way that saying black family and dysfunction together is). We would destroy our own attempts to breathe, if we could, so deep is the self destructive urge left us by slavery.
But despite of , and in spite of, all of that I am offering just a moment of sanity which would lead to something functional in our families.
Black people let's love each other. Let us become mature enough to love each other truly. Men need to grow strong enough to become responsible. Women need to become strong enough to share. These are the initial obstructions to black love creation in the black community at the moment. Yes I know. There are a billion issues facing us. A billion and a half you say? I say let's take care of the billion and the half will take care of itself. If we overcome these first two issues the rest well let us just say that we will be strong enough to take care of the rest as a people.
We could waltz around forever and a day and define a family as the foundation of society, of our race, as the most important thing, as everything.... We could talk forever about what a relationship is. We could talk forever about what a healthy view point is....
But at some point you gotta go wit' what you got. Take it from right where it is to where you want to be. That is the state of our affairs, we gotta go wit' what we got. See cause we doin' it any way.
We do not have the time to allow the generations of manhood training that is necessary to create the men needed, when right now we have boys running our homes, our offices, and our political representation. I say this because men, spiritually in tune men, which traditional manhood training would create, would not do what black folk do to themselves and their families in every arena.
We do not have the time to allow the generations of womanhood training to create the same in our woman who are doing the same. On every level.
We must go wit' what we got to get to that place we need to be, healthy and whole, a family. So why work on those two particular things first? Simply because they solve the most pressing issues.
Ok this is where the dirty laundry gets aired. And there really ain't no washin' it first. Now I do know that what I'm speaking about is not just a black issue, but black folk is all I'm concerned with. So here goes...
Monogamy, in this society, without spiritual training, is a dream akin to winning the lottery and impeaching George Bush. The odds are even worse in African America. The odds of a stable family in African America are the same as winning the lottery twice. The odds of a dual parent home are well interesting, depending upon what you call dual and what you call parenting.
We are stuck in an incredible chicken or the egg mess--and if you ask us which came first, some of us would say white folk cause they told us so. Our destabilized family structure is adding to the destabilized position of our race in this society on every level. If we must argue about the condition of our race as other than hell in a hand basket from BET to finances and every other level of socio-political interaction possible in this society then this is not the opinion piece for you. I really don't have the time to show you something which should have been obvious almost from the time you said, Ma-ma, real slow.
In sum, shit's f***ed up and our lineage, the strength of our race is paying for it. Children with out fathers--who are busy running around being boys for the most part making immature decisions which are placing them in jail and and or robbing them of their manhood or worse as they ultimately run from their responsibilities. Mothers with babies left at home searching for some one man enough to be a man to help her with the babies, help her with her own needs. And her search leading her to make bad decisions, take all sorts of risks and repeat the cycle .
Men becoming strong enough to be responsible, women strong enough to share their men.
And before you vilify me, before you click off, if you haven't already. Just think about what I'm saying. Our ancestors met a true need with the creation of more than one woman sharing a man as a cultural value which met a need and was supporting the very fabric of society. We have taken it to an idiotic whole 'nuva level. We have what I call fondly, meligamy, or ilegalmy cause its all about ME and illegal under God.
How many closed, open relationships do you know of? They playin' like it's closed but in reality, the brother's got his ego tied in conquest( a black buck rem anent from slavery and an egotistical need because this society forecloses most arenas of manhood around the black buck--after organized sports they stuck below most things.). And if the brother's not tied to conquest his very understanding of social interaction is. ( A brother is supposed to have more than one.--Lord if I had a penny for every time such backward pure bullshiiiii.....)
And most times what is the sista doin'? Yes. Do we need to say it? And let's not act like this is a t.v. show or movie. Let's be real. She got the kids. She has the fire of responsibility. Sex with others for the most part is just too irresponsible, too dangerous and or too intrusive(by its very nature for a woman). Cheatin', sneakin' and F****in' for its own sake is just not worth it for responsible mama. If it is possible, it is not the older mama, 30+ who is likely to do it. The younger sista may, but the older one, she understands the odds. Please get down off the horse, off the soap box or the kitchen table. Don't scream at me about women are doin' it, that it is some secret men don't know about. I know this goes both ways, that is why I called it a closed open relationship. Got it now? Good. See cause I'm talkin' bout every body, not just the class hoe or the idiot pimp. I'm talkin' bout every body.
I'm talkin' 'bout how our single sistas are competin' wit' our married ones because of the shortage of eligible brothers. And the lack of a family nucleus.
Let us pretend as if we are more rational, that we are not self destructive, that we actually want a functional family, filled with adult responsibility and sharing. In that world, black men, who are most often the ones to leave, would not leave. Brothers would work hard to become responsible. A brotha would work upon his spirit to become clean and strong, through study and exercise and the whole host of self improvement available. ( I am purposefully not offering a system here, because we are talking about every one and not every one will choose the same.) And the sista sittin' in the cat bird seat, the ones who are searching for men and the ones who have them would do the same to learn how to share openly.(Openly is relative, the open here is just between the consenting adults)
What would happen? Wow could you see it? I can. Women denied in the dark for so long would walk in the light. Men would find the strength to be men. Women who have made fools of themselves for so long would be more than they knew for the love they know. People would be supported and family would start to be created instead of heart broken dysfunction we call adults and their little toddler baggage adding to the already incredible amount of issues already in existence.
Men would take care of women and they both would take care of children. Black Love.
Let me repeat I am not saying get married. That is illegal. I am saying that you should become mature enough to participate in Black Love. The whole family created would not be rejected. And aren't we already doing it? How many celebs, how many sports persona have that baby out of wedlock--while they married? How many people do you know? How many cats is hittin' the baby mama and what ever else? What about you? Let me leave you with this story. I have a friend who has a rich married brother, somewhat famous in his behind the scenes portion of the recording industry. My friend was at dinner with his brother and his brother's long time consort. His brother was laughing at him for believing that a man could dwell with more than one woman openly when his faithful consort of years upon years opened her mouth to say that it could work. He looked at her and asked if she were out of her mind. She was heart broken. He had crushed her. He didn't understand how she had seen herself all those years at her side. Now you may call her a fool but life sometimes deals you more than....
Look I'm not sayin' it won't be difficult. It will be the hardest thing and we would all have to grow to make it work. But we doin' it any way. And I keep coming back to that. And besides it's a start. It is the chicken and the egg at once. It's the meal we already eatin' except with a purpose...
Perhaps this is just too ambitious for a blog. Perhaps its even too much for a book. One people's incredible culture can not be translated so readily in either case....
I guess all I'm sayin' is that it is time. Time to go from where we are to where we need to be. Time for Black Love.
Let's say this up front. Polygamy is illegal. I'm not advocating it. I'm not advocating any of the madness involved in all of that madness happening in Utah. What I am advocating is that we love each other. Love our selves. A more expanded discussion of this appears in my book Knowing The Manifestations of Ra, but today this is just a little discussion spurred by watching t.v.
Now what I've got to say is that black folks we got sumptin goin' on. And white folks please step away. This is a between us moment.
Black folks, we been had it goin'. And I won't go into the traditional family values of the African because I don't want to loose so many of us who have been brain washed and still living in slavery(Our slavish mentality tells us that any thing African is evil. Or more correctly any thing African that we don't understand is evil because we will take and absorb every thing that serves our selfish ends in a heart beat like every immature people). But I will say that we, that would be black folk, have serious issues around our families; so much so that even when something makes a lot of sense we want to turn our back on it because it won't serve our very own very incredible self avowed oath of self destructive dysfunction(yes that was redundant but only in the same way that saying black family and dysfunction together is). We would destroy our own attempts to breathe, if we could, so deep is the self destructive urge left us by slavery.
But despite of , and in spite of, all of that I am offering just a moment of sanity which would lead to something functional in our families.
Black people let's love each other. Let us become mature enough to love each other truly. Men need to grow strong enough to become responsible. Women need to become strong enough to share. These are the initial obstructions to black love creation in the black community at the moment. Yes I know. There are a billion issues facing us. A billion and a half you say? I say let's take care of the billion and the half will take care of itself. If we overcome these first two issues the rest well let us just say that we will be strong enough to take care of the rest as a people.
We could waltz around forever and a day and define a family as the foundation of society, of our race, as the most important thing, as everything.... We could talk forever about what a relationship is. We could talk forever about what a healthy view point is....
But at some point you gotta go wit' what you got. Take it from right where it is to where you want to be. That is the state of our affairs, we gotta go wit' what we got. See cause we doin' it any way.
We do not have the time to allow the generations of manhood training that is necessary to create the men needed, when right now we have boys running our homes, our offices, and our political representation. I say this because men, spiritually in tune men, which traditional manhood training would create, would not do what black folk do to themselves and their families in every arena.
We do not have the time to allow the generations of womanhood training to create the same in our woman who are doing the same. On every level.
We must go wit' what we got to get to that place we need to be, healthy and whole, a family. So why work on those two particular things first? Simply because they solve the most pressing issues.
Ok this is where the dirty laundry gets aired. And there really ain't no washin' it first. Now I do know that what I'm speaking about is not just a black issue, but black folk is all I'm concerned with. So here goes...
Monogamy, in this society, without spiritual training, is a dream akin to winning the lottery and impeaching George Bush. The odds are even worse in African America. The odds of a stable family in African America are the same as winning the lottery twice. The odds of a dual parent home are well interesting, depending upon what you call dual and what you call parenting.
We are stuck in an incredible chicken or the egg mess--and if you ask us which came first, some of us would say white folk cause they told us so. Our destabilized family structure is adding to the destabilized position of our race in this society on every level. If we must argue about the condition of our race as other than hell in a hand basket from BET to finances and every other level of socio-political interaction possible in this society then this is not the opinion piece for you. I really don't have the time to show you something which should have been obvious almost from the time you said, Ma-ma, real slow.
In sum, shit's f***ed up and our lineage, the strength of our race is paying for it. Children with out fathers--who are busy running around being boys for the most part making immature decisions which are placing them in jail and and or robbing them of their manhood or worse as they ultimately run from their responsibilities. Mothers with babies left at home searching for some one man enough to be a man to help her with the babies, help her with her own needs. And her search leading her to make bad decisions, take all sorts of risks and repeat the cycle .
Men becoming strong enough to be responsible, women strong enough to share their men.
And before you vilify me, before you click off, if you haven't already. Just think about what I'm saying. Our ancestors met a true need with the creation of more than one woman sharing a man as a cultural value which met a need and was supporting the very fabric of society. We have taken it to an idiotic whole 'nuva level. We have what I call fondly, meligamy, or ilegalmy cause its all about ME and illegal under God.
How many closed, open relationships do you know of? They playin' like it's closed but in reality, the brother's got his ego tied in conquest( a black buck rem anent from slavery and an egotistical need because this society forecloses most arenas of manhood around the black buck--after organized sports they stuck below most things.). And if the brother's not tied to conquest his very understanding of social interaction is. ( A brother is supposed to have more than one.--Lord if I had a penny for every time such backward pure bullshiiiii.....)
And most times what is the sista doin'? Yes. Do we need to say it? And let's not act like this is a t.v. show or movie. Let's be real. She got the kids. She has the fire of responsibility. Sex with others for the most part is just too irresponsible, too dangerous and or too intrusive(by its very nature for a woman). Cheatin', sneakin' and F****in' for its own sake is just not worth it for responsible mama. If it is possible, it is not the older mama, 30+ who is likely to do it. The younger sista may, but the older one, she understands the odds. Please get down off the horse, off the soap box or the kitchen table. Don't scream at me about women are doin' it, that it is some secret men don't know about. I know this goes both ways, that is why I called it a closed open relationship. Got it now? Good. See cause I'm talkin' bout every body, not just the class hoe or the idiot pimp. I'm talkin' bout every body.
I'm talkin' 'bout how our single sistas are competin' wit' our married ones because of the shortage of eligible brothers. And the lack of a family nucleus.
Let us pretend as if we are more rational, that we are not self destructive, that we actually want a functional family, filled with adult responsibility and sharing. In that world, black men, who are most often the ones to leave, would not leave. Brothers would work hard to become responsible. A brotha would work upon his spirit to become clean and strong, through study and exercise and the whole host of self improvement available. ( I am purposefully not offering a system here, because we are talking about every one and not every one will choose the same.) And the sista sittin' in the cat bird seat, the ones who are searching for men and the ones who have them would do the same to learn how to share openly.(Openly is relative, the open here is just between the consenting adults)
What would happen? Wow could you see it? I can. Women denied in the dark for so long would walk in the light. Men would find the strength to be men. Women who have made fools of themselves for so long would be more than they knew for the love they know. People would be supported and family would start to be created instead of heart broken dysfunction we call adults and their little toddler baggage adding to the already incredible amount of issues already in existence.
Men would take care of women and they both would take care of children. Black Love.
Let me repeat I am not saying get married. That is illegal. I am saying that you should become mature enough to participate in Black Love. The whole family created would not be rejected. And aren't we already doing it? How many celebs, how many sports persona have that baby out of wedlock--while they married? How many people do you know? How many cats is hittin' the baby mama and what ever else? What about you? Let me leave you with this story. I have a friend who has a rich married brother, somewhat famous in his behind the scenes portion of the recording industry. My friend was at dinner with his brother and his brother's long time consort. His brother was laughing at him for believing that a man could dwell with more than one woman openly when his faithful consort of years upon years opened her mouth to say that it could work. He looked at her and asked if she were out of her mind. She was heart broken. He had crushed her. He didn't understand how she had seen herself all those years at her side. Now you may call her a fool but life sometimes deals you more than....
Look I'm not sayin' it won't be difficult. It will be the hardest thing and we would all have to grow to make it work. But we doin' it any way. And I keep coming back to that. And besides it's a start. It is the chicken and the egg at once. It's the meal we already eatin' except with a purpose...
Perhaps this is just too ambitious for a blog. Perhaps its even too much for a book. One people's incredible culture can not be translated so readily in either case....
I guess all I'm sayin' is that it is time. Time to go from where we are to where we need to be. Time for Black Love.
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